Nigeria is the largest black nation in the world with over 450 ethnic groups within its landmass. One may be quick to point out the diversity that exists in this sphere of humanity, but in these differences common lines can be drawn that cut across. Nigerians share idiosyncrasies; these traits bind the 18 year old undergraduate of Ahmadu Bello University to the spare part seller in Owerri, to Ade eating Amala and Abula at Mokola Roundabout in Ibadan, to young Alhaji Bako counting his blessings with Naira-scented hands in Minna.
Nigerians are unique, regardless of the different strokes etched on their faces or their backs, maybe. If you look keenly, you will find a Nigerian on every human populated space on earth. There is a certain air around the average Nigerian, which can’t be ignored in a crowded room. So, let’s make your ‘networking’ (or, for those looking for hookups 🙂 ) easy.
Here are ways of spotting a Nigerian:
Nigerians are beautiful
Hey mama, hey mama slay!!!
Words aren’t just enough to describe WAJE. See?
Can we swap phones, please? Phone numbers?
See why she had to be on ‘***Flawless’? Alright, alright, alright (channeling my Matthew McConaughey)
Nigerians like to party
Ehm, no. This isn’t how Nigerians hit a pool party.
This is how Nigerians hit a pool party.
Or any other party/parties…
You wonder why they debut new dances every year–etighi to skelewu to shoki to shakiti bobo? They love to party.
Nigerians love food (they are foodies)
Tim Westwood is one of us now. Ehm, not really; but, hey…
Nigerians are smart
You no fi’ scam Naija (wo)man, instead na them go scam you. Naija no dey carry last, patapata na draw.
Nigerians are loud (talkers)
It is probably the military hangover. Ok, that was years ago… Let’s blame the noise from generators, danfo silencers. No, Nigerians are not partially deaf they are just, uhm, assertive.
Emeka and Chibuzor are not fighting. Sit down, sir. They’re just having a friendly chat. Have you tried to meditate while in a commercial bus? LOL. Next thing you know, Iya Bisi is telling Iya Bose in the ‘lowest’ of tone about the weekend Owambe; you’re just nosey, she’s probably whispering, sef.
Nigerians are fashionable
Nigerians are hilarious
Forget the Basketmouths, AYs, Falzs, Jenifas…they don’t tick the box, here. The average Nigerian is hilarious; shuffering and shmiling, we turn every bad situation into a ready told joke.
Nigerians are religious
On the Religiosity Index (2014), Nigeria was ranked the second most religious country in the world… Nigerians do love their God, or so it appears.
Yes, that’s a state governor.
The average Nigerian namedrops God in every and any kind of conversation. Put it to test. Whether talking about their successes, sports, plans, political promises ‘God’ finds a way around their lips.
Nigerians take a trend and make it theirs
Take the septum piercing, for example. Everyone’s mother, sister, aunt, cousin has got that septum ring calling out to the Cowbell bull. See?
Add sagging, buttpads, waist trainers, mohawk, ripped jeans, facebeat aka makeup aka sorcery and you’re on your way to finding a Nigerian taking a trend and turning it on its head.
Remember when Ghanaians drew out their swords because Wizkid took their Azonto style and ran to Chris Brown with it?
Nigerians love ‘word doubles’
Repetition is the mother of learning… For emphasis, right? Talk talk, looku looku, ghen ghen, lie lie, thief thief (word to Fela), follow follow, scatter scatter, beggy beggy. Add more from your observation.
Nigerians like to tell you who they are without (actually) telling you who they are
Ehm, don’t be lost. Here: “Do you know who I am?” “I am not your mate.”
Nigerians love sex
Shh. Don’t say it out (loud? lol). Durex’s study on 26 countries shows Nigerians are the most sexually satisfied, and last not less than 24 minutes during intercourse. LOL. You wonder why Dr. Azolibe and the good Mr. Ikemba send you those mails? SMH.
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