Among the many trivial problems that couples are faced with in recent times, matters bothering on sex top the chart.
Sex starvation is one action that a handful of women have used over the years to punish their erring husbands and luckily, some of them actually achieved their aim in the end.
Some lead the men on and then abandon them in the middle of a hard on if they are desperate to get something from him. Most men have fallen into this famous trap as they are always willing to promise heavens and earth at those ‘trying’ times.
Although sex starvation can come from any party, there is no gainsaying that a lot of marriages have hit the rocks because of this singular act when either couple decides to opt out when the heat becomes overwhelming.
It is a known truism that sex is an intricate part of survival of relationships and couples are even advised during the exchange of vows to honour one another with their bodies, withholding nothing as the marriage arithmetic rightly suggests that 1+1=1.
Most crashed marriages would have weathered other storms if there was a degree of harmony in their sex lives of the affected couples.
Often times, it is the men that initiate sex and refuse it rarely while women initiate it much more rarely and refuse it much more often than men.
If a man and a woman are given an opportunity for sex, it will not come as a surprise that men will quickly leap at it while women may likely decline.
It is easier for women to go for months without sex but quite difficult to see a man do same and still walk about like a normal person.
This may not be the best means of venting anger against a partner even though it works for some people.
There are a thousand and one ways to punish an erring man other than starving him or her of sex. It can sometimes amount to emotional abuse.
Here is one of the things that sex starvation does to relationships that would have been avoided – it makes the starved party look outwards to derive the satisfaction being deprived of him/her by the other.
This is usually where the problem starts because it proves difficult to stop a spouse that is already getting satisfaction from elsewhere.
It also pushes the man to resort to self pleasure of masturbation in a case where he is likely not interested in the stress of looking outwards.
While seeking a dissolution of a four-year-old marriage on the grounds of sex starvation at a Mapo Customary Court sitting in Ibadan, Oyo State, a man named Tajueen Olalekan had this to say: “Anytime I propose love making to Modinat, she shuns me as if I am not entitled to it.
“All my efforts at making her agree with me failed. Her parents and relatives that I reported the incident to could not pacify her to change her attitude of starving me of sex. Although, I love her, I am now heartbroken, frustrated and completely disillusioned. Since we got married, I have always given her royal treatment by providing all her needs.
“In fact, I invested in a business worth N1.6million for her.”
Another man who sought divorce on a similar case said: “My wife is starving me of sex, whenever I wanted to make love to her she always fights me and my body is not a stone nor stick.”
There are countless divorce cases on the grounds of sex starvation in Nigeria today and a higher percentage of them were initiated by the men.
Sex is absolutely a powerful tool and a deprivation could amount to something beyond people’s expectations.
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